The Police State Olympics 2012

The goons at Something Awful are rounding up all the tales of abject destruction of civil liberties, principal nature sites, waterfronts, and Londoners’ daily lives.

The national security theatre has come to England:

Machine-guns will for the first time be toted by guards on the London tube. Police special forces, “trained to kill”, will wear balaclavas to avoid identification. There are to be naval landing craft roaming the coast off Weymouth and submarines at the ready. The Olympics have become a festival of the global security industry, with a running and jumping contest as a sideshow. No one in government dares call a halt. Nero in his prime could not have squandered so much money on circuses.

The Olympics have become an Orwellian parody of what happens when a world agency blackmails a government aching for prestige into spending without limit. Not one defence spokesman has come up with a plausible scenario for the jets and missiles. The latter have a range of just three miles and are said to be usable “only at the express instruction of the prime minister”. What will they shoot down, and on whose head will it crash?

The Olympics has always meant financial ruin for the host, but London will also endure a complete militarization into a police state worth over £900M—that still wouldn’t be able to intercept a bomb.

So what security did they spend all that money on? Here’s what:

HMS Ocean is traditionally equipped to conduct land assaults of up to 800 troops using amphibious craft supported by attack helicopters.

The large hanger on board has enough space for 12 medium helicopters and six small helicopters, or it can accommodate a total of 15 sea harriers and four amphibious landing craft.

Also, missile systems. Of course.

It boggles the mind. As does trying to figure out whether this blog post is in violation of the London 2012 branding police’s guidelines. I mean, just look at this:

Expressions likely to be considered a breach of the rules would include any two of the following list: “Games, Two Thousand and Twelve, 2012, Twenty-Twelve”.

Using one of those words with London, medals, sponsors, summer, gold, silver or bronze is another likely breach. The two-word rule is not fixed, however: an event called the “Great Exhibition 2012” was threatened with legal action last year under the Act over its use of “2012” (Locog later withdrew its objection).

Come to think of it, it shouldn’t be in anyone’s interest to associate yourself with the London Olympics anyway.